Did I ever tell you about the time someone's farm dog caught me stealing eggs out from under their chickens? [A distraction tactic, old bedside manner, but here, in this place, it doesn't come as easily as it did before. His voice is rigid with barely restrained anger.] It ends with me stranded in a tree with my robe skirts over my head. I think you'd like that one.
[Despite all the helpless anger, despite everything, his touch is still gentle. Two fingers at the pulse point in Fenris' throat, monitoring the way it flags, the other hand at his elbow, encouraging the arm to extend toward him. They're practiced motions, and not just because of previous patients. Because of this one, in this environment, under these circumstances. It's happened again and again, and it likely will until there isn't any lyrium left to drain.
What he's doing is delaying, not healing. The templars will kill Fenris eventually, for no other reason to fuel their own addictions.
It's naked brutality. He wonders, not for the first time, if he made a mistake, that first night. If they wouldn't both be better off ending each other's misery, if it might actually be the kindest thing they could ever do for each other in their long history. It's not a place he ever wanted to go back to, and he doesn't know how he managed to find his way there on accident.
He swallows back the old memory, and reaches to twitch Fenris' hair back from his forehead.]
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branchandroot
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Date: 2014-12-20 05:05 am (UTC)[Despite all the helpless anger, despite everything, his touch is still gentle. Two fingers at the pulse point in Fenris' throat, monitoring the way it flags, the other hand at his elbow, encouraging the arm to extend toward him. They're practiced motions, and not just because of previous patients. Because of this one, in this environment, under these circumstances. It's happened again and again, and it likely will until there isn't any lyrium left to drain.
What he's doing is delaying, not healing. The templars will kill Fenris eventually, for no other reason to fuel their own addictions.
It's naked brutality. He wonders, not for the first time, if he made a mistake, that first night. If they wouldn't both be better off ending each other's misery, if it might actually be the kindest thing they could ever do for each other in their long history. It's not a place he ever wanted to go back to, and he doesn't know how he managed to find his way there on accident.
He swallows back the old memory, and reaches to twitch Fenris' hair back from his forehead.]
It's a long story, Fenris. Are you still with me?