[Anders understands the power dynamics of space very well. It's why, consciously or not, he's taking up as much of it as he can, in his stance and his body language. But the shot lands true, and the fight in him dissolves. A day ago, bringing up Hawke in that manner might have incited something vicious and defensive in him; today, there's nothing to beat back the guilt and uncertainty that washes over him.
Hawke deserves better. Every mage in Kirkwall deserves better.
When he speaks, his voice is softer. Sapped. He feels clearer, now, but also adrift. There was at least certainty in Justice's warped force of rage.]
You don't know that I won't. Even without him.
[What's truly terrifying about imagining Kirkwall's future is seeing his own logic in it. If he were fearful enough, desperate enough, to somehow think that force was the only option, then the plan is a sound one. Provoke Meredith, hand her power on a silver platter, and let her abuse it in the most egregious manner possible. Demonstrate to the world in blood everything that's wrong with the Templar Order. It's how he would do it, if he were playing at some kind of macabre thought experiment.
It's how he will do it, maybe.]
I know you prefer to think of me as a-- mindless abomination. Like I'm completely at the mercy of some spirit. [A painful pause.] Was. But it wasn't like that, Justice and me. Does doing this really make you so certain anything will change?
[If he were talking to anyone else, he might be looking for reassurance that yes, it could still make all the difference. With Fenris, even he's not sure what he's fishing for.]
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branchandroot
i see your tears and raise you my tears also
Date: 2014-11-19 06:52 am (UTC)Hawke deserves better. Every mage in Kirkwall deserves better.
When he speaks, his voice is softer. Sapped. He feels clearer, now, but also adrift. There was at least certainty in Justice's warped force of rage.]
You don't know that I won't. Even without him.
[What's truly terrifying about imagining Kirkwall's future is seeing his own logic in it. If he were fearful enough, desperate enough, to somehow think that force was the only option, then the plan is a sound one. Provoke Meredith, hand her power on a silver platter, and let her abuse it in the most egregious manner possible. Demonstrate to the world in blood everything that's wrong with the Templar Order. It's how he would do it, if he were playing at some kind of macabre thought experiment.
It's how he will do it, maybe.]
I know you prefer to think of me as a-- mindless abomination. Like I'm completely at the mercy of some spirit. [A painful pause.] Was. But it wasn't like that, Justice and me. Does doing this really make you so certain anything will change?
[If he were talking to anyone else, he might be looking for reassurance that yes, it could still make all the difference. With Fenris, even he's not sure what he's fishing for.]